Found my typing fingers...

I'm revisiting this whole blogging business.  I'm not going to be announcing it, as I'm not doing it for anyone but me I suppose at this point.  Heck, I may even lock this bad boy down with a password.  I wish I had the fortitude to sit and write and journal by hand, but I'm lazy and I can type fast...so here I am. ;)

So much has happened in the nearly 4 years since I last wrote.  Wait...4 years?!  Truly?  Wow, I don't even know where to begin.  I suppose chief among the happenings is that now we're the proud parents of not one, but two little boys.  And by "proud," surely I mean exhausted and terrified that we're doing it all wrong.  But that's parenthood, right?!

We have continued on our path toward healthier living, trying to be sustainable and do right by not only our family, but our community and our larger collective planet.  We miss the mark, a lot.  I collect blogs and articles, websites, and books like they're going out of style--pretty sure they're not--yet sometimes have trouble tearing myself away to just live this life I'm trying like heck to live well.  Parenting is a constantly evolving venture, the biggest struggle of which is being gentle and mindful and basically bringing up boys who will be men we would actually want to spend time with.  Playing the long game allows for some forgiveness and personal grace, but a lot of uncertainty and occasionally embarrassment in the present.

Life since I last posted has been filled with difficult losses and gains beyond measure, as is most of life I suppose.  In the end, the most anyone can hope is that our ledger board leaves us with something to smile about in those final years, months, weeks, days, moments.  Even if the day to day balance doesn't always feel like it's gone our way.

If I sound somber, I assure you I'm smiling.  Most days anyway. ;)  Writing tends to bring out a reflectiveness in me, that's all.  Until next time (which hopefully will bring a picture with it)....

Mine: A Tale of Two Photos

Tonight I am away from my boys. And my special pittie princess and my fluffy ornery cats. Hmm...boo hiss on all this alone time. So while I should be using it to sleep, as I complain I can never seem to get enough of it when I am with all my lovelies, I suppose I'll blog instead. Who needs priorities?!

I miss them.

I also miss {the real version of} them.

In the second photo you can see Bugga's tell-tale "scrunch face." The face he makes when someone actually asks him to smile. I want to be in his head and know what smiling means to him. ;) And in the second photo, you also see Paisley deciding she is most certainly uncool with any further shenanigans that involve being held in place, no matter how much she loves both Papa and the Bug. Especially if there are no treats involved. "Pshaw...hello humans, have you forgotten your primary role as treat dispensers for my hungry belly?!"

No, no cats. Again, they are far too independent to put up with such riff raff as the family picture. No amount of treats or unlicked cereal bowls can change that.

These photos bring a smile to my face. Excuse the quality, they were snapped quickly with my phone when I realized I wanted to see their faces when I could not see their faces. Makes sense, right? That's the beauty of this digital age, right? Sure. Seems to have panned out for now anyway.

On any given day...

These are two sights you will see in our home.

Turtle...

holding down the rug.

Monkey...

holding down the pillows (all 7 lbs, soaking wet, of her).

We have cats. Have I mentioned this?! Amidst all the Bugga-ladled posts, and all the pittie-ladled posts, have I mentioned these family members?

I was once a cat person. In some sense, I still am, or obviously these two kooks wouldn't be here. But once, I was a cat person, who was decidedly not a dog person. Imagine! Something flipped in my brain, or maybe just my circumstances, who knows. Either way, the canine species entered our realm of existence and the poor cats had to come along for the ride and hope they weren't forgotten entirely.

They ensure that they remain on radar by ruining furniture. And howling at inappropriate times. And having nasty cat fights in the living room at 6 a.m. just to make sure I'm alert to their plight. Oh and leaving furry evidence on every surface they can manage to touch (and sometimes by the miracle of air flow physics, surfaces I can't imagine they could ever touch).

Yes, cats live here too and I wear the evidence like any proud cat owner. Not in the form of kitty cat sweatshirts or anything (eh...do people still wear those?). Today I display the evidence on my blog.

~~~~

I have been MIA once again. Sometimes I go missing because life is so legendary I can't be bothered to blog. HA! {Okay, truthfully, this has never once happened!} Lately, it is more because life has been almost unfairly of the boo variety and I spend way too much of my mental energy just trying to make sense of it. Maybe in time, when recent events have settled a bit more, are a bit less raw, and I feel a tad more hope, I'll be able to share. Thanks to any readers who have hung in and still occasionally venture to this forgotten corner of the cyber world.

Silence is golden

Isn't that the saying?

At any rate, still here. I promise. Just a little...quiet. ;)

Tea Time

Nebraska, here we come! Today is a day of packing, eating (gotta get rid of those leftovers, HA!), laundry, cleaning, and all the fun that goes into preparing for a full day on the road, followed by a week in the good ol' hometown, and another full day on the road.

Before we go, a few final photos. These evoke cozy and home and winter, all of which I love.

Tea has usurped coffee as J's hot beverage of choice these days. Personally, I enjoy a little of each. At any rate, the little Bugga just must do as the big people do (as evidenced by one of my earlier posts this week).

Though to be fair, J does not lick the outside of the cups. Bug put his own spin on tea enjoyment there. ;)

Lots to do, lots to do. Here's wishing everyone an amazing holiday season this year, and to all our NE peeps, we'll see you soon! =)

Family

It's Friday, and lookeeeee, I'm capping off a week full of blog posts. Who knows what bug jumped in my hair to cause this, but it's been fun. ;)

Anyway, as we approach our departure from MN heading toward our childhood home of NE, I am thinking of family. And how it is most certainly not always defined by blood or genetics or a tree. I only have a brother, and I love him, but I was also blessed to have grown up with another family full of girls (and one lonely little guy, HA) and they have been like sisters to me. A blessing indeed!

We even had those classic sister moments of fighting, hair pulling, pranks and nastiness, but there was also just a lot of love and I know my relationship with that family has shaped me just as surely as my own true family did.

I'm not a person who collects friends, I value real and genuine and once I know and love someone, they are pretty much on the same ranks as family in my book, because it just doesn't happen everyday. And here is what happens when women I've considered sisters (even though they had enough in their own family, they didn't need one more!) grow up and have littles of their own...

Beautiful...

Little girls...

I may not be as close with their Mommas as I once was, but seeing these little faces quite nearly brings a tear to my eye. I can't wait to see them again.

And this time, I need to catch their Mommas with my lens too. =)

Eureka!

Do you ever let something pass you by, not giving it a thought, only to find yourself in wide-eyed discovery by the same thing at another moment?

And so it is with this picture. I was reviewing some old photos and for some reason, this photo I previously didn't even remember existing suddenly jumped out and slapped me in the face. Not even 100% sure what it is about it that now strikes me. It's my "kids"...they were probably looking out for Papa to get home...together.

That must be it. That together part. Something so simple about their sharing: of space, of moments, of pleasure in each other's company. I sit in awe of those two so often. Or rather, in brief moments when I am not overtaken by chaos, frustration, demands, etc. {Oh I exaggerate!}

If I weren't so danged in love with Pai's eyes in my current banner, I would make this my new banner in a heartbeat. ;)